Craptastic Day

I am going to blame my shitty day on PMS!  

Last night I took my 12 week progress pics...and in the process I deleted my very first before pic!  UGH!  I have a copy of it in a collage....but it is now gone forever!  Not to mention the fact that I have not lost a single pound since Feb. 1st and I can not see much of a difference...the hubs said my butt is smaller and my legs look smaller...but I need my gut to shrink!  It is not good having skinny legs when I can't even go down a full, solid pants size!  I don't want to look like a pig on stilts!  This is why so many times before I lose motivation and go back to doing nothing....I am on the verge of this pattern again!  I almost even deleted my blog....I have just been beside myself for about a week and was waiting to take the pictures to see if there was a difference....so it was a HUGE disappointment for me!

So, skip to today....All I have been thinking about today is quitting my job and how to still make ends meet!  Long story for another day (and just in case anyone from work is reading this....I don't need any problems!)....I am just DONE!  I don't hate my job, I just can't stand to breathe the same air as a few folks there.  I am burned out!

The whole way home from work I just kept thinking about my run....I was going to do 2 miles and W4D1 of my 10K trainer.  Figured that would put me in a better mood.  NOT SO MUCH!  First, I realized about 5 minutes in that I forgot to start my Polar FT4....Then, my asthma sucked balls today....I couldn't run for more than 2 minutes at a time...I had to stop early too because it was starting to get painful to breathe.  So I only got 1.5 miles in.  Then, I decided to skip the gym...just not feeling it, ya know.

If one more person tells me it is muscle I am just going to throw myself on the ground and cry until I vomit!  When you are as big and fluffy as me....the muscle building shouldn't impact the scale until you get around 180....and I am far from it!

So, now that I am done feeling sorry for myself....I am just going to brush myself off and hope tomorrow is a better day!